"Parental Love Will Do the Rest"
Laura Siegel: I have been corresponding over the Internet with Father William J. Dunn, a wonderful Catholic Priest, who does outreach to Gays and Lesbians. Following is one of his letters. Details have been altered for confidentiality:
I am in active ministry as a Pastor of a Catholic Parish. In my work I have counseled many people both gay and straight. I have counseled them both single and married. Men coming out after years of good marriage and family life ----some married anywhere from seven to thirty-three years. I have helped young people "come out" to their parents. I have helped parents "to feel free" to love and accept their children as gay.
Recently I spent almost three hours with a great couple, who just celebrated their wedding anniversary. They have a large family and all are married except a daughter who is lesbian. She has "come out" to her parents and family. Her mother was more easily inclined to accept the "whole package." But her Dad could not bring himself as a strong Catholic to do so. He had told his daughter that he still loved her, but she would have to keep all her gayness away from him and the house.
What brought this to a head was that their daughter and her lover, in a hopefully permanent relationship, had invited them out to dinner. He could not bring himself to accept this. Without realizing it he was hiding behind the Church and its teachings about homosexuality.
They called and asked to see me as ASAP. Within 30 minutes after the call we were together in my private quarters. Over a couple of drinks we talked for almost three hours. I pulled out all stops! I told them they could not consider themselves to be truly Catholic and close their daughter out of their lives. I told them that being born gay she had only two choices in life - remain a celibate and lonely person until death or find some wonderful other person to share her life with. I could go on and on, but we ended with his thanking me for helping him "to be free to accept this invitation." At a prayer and social this evening the mother told me that he is still very concerned, but that they are accepting the invitation. I feel sure that if they do, parental love will do the rest.
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