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Brendan Hale LinkT Erika Scott Susan
From: "Brendan Hale" <brendan@em.ulstek.com.tw>
Subject: Introduction
Date: Fri, 3 Jul 1998 14:45:37 +0800
My name is Brendan, and I subscribed to PFT just this week. I am a 26 year old gay guy from South Africa, now living in Taiwan. I first came out to myself about 4 years ago, refusing to even think about my sexuality before then, having informed the whole family, at the age of 10, that I was never going to get married! I came out to my mother in August 1997, after being prompted by her. Thankfully, I was ready to do it, and was actually planning the "coming out party". She told my father shortly afterwards, and the rest of the family in February this year. Well, that is my history on that front. I am currently working for a computer company here in Taipei, where I am the English department, and consequently, responsible for the websites my company maintains. An offshoot of that was my own personal website, http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Stonewall/2125/, which is my personal record of coming out, and an expose of the things that I love doing. These things include reading, travelling and I am just starting with photography. Ok, that is the short and sweet version.
Brendan --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Whenever I hear anyone argue for slavery
[discrimination],
I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally."
Abraham Lincoln
Hi everyone!
I'm new on Talk, but know several of you out there. I have enjoyed going through the posts the last couple of days and feel I've found yet another family.
I'm a 38 year old gay male, currently live in Cincinnati (oh the horrors of it!), moved here from Houston 6 years ago with my partner, Richard. We've been together for almost 19 years now. My job brought me to the Conservative Queen City. I work for Children's Hospital as a Clinical Researcher in Pediatric Rheumatology.
I'm active in the local PFLAG chapter in Cinci, am on the Speakers Bureau for Stonewall Cincinnati (Human Rights Organization), active member of Kentucky Fairness Alliance (Human Rights Organization for Kentucky... I actually live in Covington, KY, approx. 1 mile from dowtown Cincinnati). I am also a founding member of the gay & lesbian employee group at the Hospital. I was the Program Committee Co-Chair of the Out & Equal '98 Conference in Rochester, NY (a national GLBT workplace issues conference for human resource professionals).
My family and Richard's family are very accepting. We have had our obstacles over the years, but have only built stronger family ties in the process. I was born/raised in Indiana and Richard is from Louisiana. Although strong religious family roots (me Methodist, him Baptist) tried to silence us & our relationship, we stood fast against our families letting them know we were in this for life & they could be with us OR never hear from us again. It worked! BTW, we are the only sibs out of both families to have an ongoing relationship this many years, all of the sibs but 1 have been divorced. Of the sibs who have been divorced, they have been in 2 to 4 failed marriages each. (we have 8 sibs collectively)
My baby brother (the only sib never divorced) just had a son a couple of weeks ago (after 13 years of trying) & for the first time ever, we were recognized as the child's uncles! A major event! I say this because he was the most vocal, homophobic person out of both families. I look forward to learning more about all of you. I would like for Robert & Dan to know that only love can conquer & prevail. Keep doing the good work you are involved in and hopefully, you too will bring enlightenment to others through living & loving.
God bless all.
Link
PS
I busted out of my closet 19 years ago & have never been able to findthe door since! ;)
Hi,
I just spent time reading the introductions of those on pflag-talk, and I greatly enjoyed the writing. You all are wonderful people. I wanted to do an introduction myself, and so I figured that the compilation I recently wrote for someone's psych research would sum it up. That said,
Who am I?
woman,
creation of God,
chronic thinker,
philosopher,
daughter and sister,
pseudo-parent to friends' children,
best friend,
good listener,
better talker,
lesbian,
artist,
soccer player and fanatic,
self-titled comedian,
teacher,
supervisor of 53 employees,
tennis instructor,
migraine sufferer,
incredibly fortunate person,
pool shark,
neat freak,
one who gives people a second chance, but not a third.
------------------- Erika
Hi. I am a 28-year-old happy misfit from New York City. I don't really know how long I have been out -- I came out as "bi" (as if!) to my mother back when I was 19, but THEN I ended up with a serious long-term girlfriend for a few years. I would have to guess I have been out "for years."
I have been gay since birth. In fact, one of my earliest memories is of "kissing the purple thing" (you figure it out) with my best friend, Warren. His mother caught us when we were about 3 years old, and that was my first taste of gay shame.
When I was in first grade, I lost or broke my Snoopy lunchbox, and my misguided mother punished me by forcing me to carry my sister's Barbie lunchbox to school. From then on the kids all called me gay or faggot or homo. It is AMAZING how young that stuff starts.
When I was about 7 or 8, I had the strangest dream. I dreamt I was sitting at a campfire with John Ritter, who was explaining to me that he had been castrated. Of course, to a child (albeit not a typical child), the term castrated seems to indicate "cutting it off," but I think the whole symbolism was frighteningly clear: By forcing Jack Tripper to pose as a gay man in order to keep his apartment, he was symbolically castrated by society. (Well, I TOLD you I was a misfit! And this WAS during the heyday of "Three's Company," I hasten to point out.)
I choose for now to fast-forward a million years to the present. I am living in New York, working in theatre, out to the world, and happy happy happy. I am dating a wonderful young man who is in the midst of the whole coming-out thing. He introduced me to the list, and I thought it might be nice to share my happiness with those of you who aren't quite "there" yet.
Here's my big declaration: If I had the power to go back and make myself straight, I would NEVER do it. I feel so lucky to be who I am. I think I'm lucky to be gay, and lucky to be me. I am smarter than average, I think I am pretty damn cute (even if I weigh in the 230s range!), and I think I am an unforgettable experience in my own right.
And most of all, the young man I am falling in love with is one of the best things ever to come into my life, and I can't imagine not having the chance to be with him, just for the sake of being typical. Why would I ever want to give up a life, and a lifestyle, this great?
Sure, there are lots of things I would change in my past: I wouldn't hate myself, or waste time wishing I weren't gay. And that is what I hope everyone can come away with: If you are something fabulous and rare, EMBRACE IT. Being gay can be a special opportunity that so few people ever get to experience. (I love being on the exclusive list!) I know it isn't easy to accept at first, but if you can get past the fear, the benefits can be incredible.
All the best,
Scott
(NOT Andrew!)
Hi! I am new to the list, so thought I would introduce myself! My name is Susan, and I live in upper east Tennessee. I lived for seven years in the San Francisco Bay Area, and was very blessed from the time I was 10 years old to be a part of my mom's circle of friends, many of whom are gay. I was very lucky to grow up that way; I grew up without any of the ideas that two men or two women is gross or whatever people think. I feel incredibly lucky to have grown up without those sterotypes. My mom's best friend, Ed, has become like a father to me, especially since my dad died about 6 years ago. He and his husband Wade have always made me feel that their home was my home. They are amazing people.
I sometimes think that I should go on the road and give speeches about the fact that gay people being around your children isn't going to make them gay!
I am straight (with the exception of a crush I had on this girl about a year and a half ago, but it seemed to go away as soon as it came! It was kind of interesting...) and seem to have mainly gay friends! Hmmmm. Makes it kind of hard to find a date! :-) But being in the South, it is really hard to find open minded straight men! And I'm just a little too involved in gay issues to give it up for someone who thinks it's wrong. I have often wondered if I am TOO involved in gay issues; but today I got the most amazing card from a friend of mine who is 17, and used to have this huge amount of self hatred because he was gay. He was willing to go in for genetic alteration to be straight. He just hated all the rainbow flags and gay culture in general. (he lives in NYC, where it's all kind of out there!)
And now he says that he is really excited that Bill Clinton proclaimed June Gay Pride Month, because it's his birthday month. And he is so much happier with himself than he used to be. Anyway, he sent me a card today that said
"When I'm trying to say something, you know that it's 'oil can'. And you know how to unrust me. I love you Susan. I feel like I had been standing in the forest for so long until you saved me."
I was just blown away. And I knew that for whatever reason, I was put here to look out for gay youth! I don't know... I just really feel like it's my calling.
Wow, this is long! I'm sorry... hope I haven't bored anyone to tears! Just wanted to share my story! I also have a hopeful story for anyone out there who needs one... my best friend's cousin, who I started calling "my son" about 3 years ago because his parents were not being quite as loving after they found out he was gay as they had been before and I thought he needed a mom who loved him no matter what, is having a wonderful time with them now.
It has taken a LONG time; but they are finally coming around. So DON'T GIVE UP on parents! They can surprise you, even if it takes a couple of decades... :-)
This seems like a wonderful list, and I am very happy to be a part of it! I look forward to hearing from you...
Love,
Susan
Created August 1, 1997
Revised April 26, 2000
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