A recent "sunspot" (what we call it when one of our online discussions/topics gets more than just a bit out of hand) has sparked interest in an introductions page specifically for members of the TGS-PFLAG list.
Maggie Heineman wrote:
REQUEST FOR INTROS:It seems to me that not knowing and not trusting each other played a big role in what happened today. We have not had a round of intros here for a long time. There are 181 people on tgs-pflag. Some of us have known each other for years. Others are new. My guess is that 10 to 15% of the people on the list are SOFFAS, and perhaps 15-25% of the list are involved with a PFLAG chapter. But that's a wild guesstimate. Lets find out.
Oftentimes, assumptions can be made about where people are coming from, what approach they are taking to a message or a situation. These assumptions often lead to disagreements, sometimes vehment ones.
These introductions are intended to serve as background for the discussion and as a way to introduce new participants to some of the more seasoned members of the list.
If you want to change/update/add your introduction (or the URL directing one to an introduction), please e-mail me the changes. Please let me know if you want your email address included in your posted introduction.
John Lindner
pflag-talk/tgs-pflag webmaster
Maggie Heineman
[listowner]
John Lindner
[webmaster]
I am Loree Cook-Daniels, a 41-year-old genetic woman. Since age 16, I've been a rabid Lesbian activist. I met my partner Marcelle when I was 25. At that time, Marcelle told me sie wanted to transition female-to-male. After a few discussions, I basically told Marcelle to choose: me or transitioning. There were a number of reasons, ranging from the fact that Marcelle was anti-male and I thought it was a sign of serious mental problems to want to be something you hated, to the fact that I was way too invested in MY identity as a Lesbian to give it up. Marcelle chose me, and that's basically where we left it for 9 years.
When I eventually decided I could no longer block him and took what was for me a flying leap into the unknown, giving up the identity I had had all my adult life, we were in the process of trying to get Marcelle pregnant. We decided to continue that, and in 1994 he birthed our son Kai. A year later, he transitioned.
Because I was such a public Lesbian -- I wrote a monthly column (still do) for the largest LG newspaper in the country -- we had to come out very publicly, to forestall rumors. What I found shocked me. It turned out that THREE of the Lesbian couples we personally knew -- some quite well -- were also dealing with FTM feelings. Yet none had ever said a word to each other. I was appalled and radicalized, and decided that it was time to break the silence in the Lesbian community about the existence of FTM feelings in our community.
In the four years since, I've been extremely active nationally in both the LGB, T, and straight communities trying to raise awareness and to create or at least bring together resources for SOFFAs which, by the way, is a term coined by AmBoyz Commander-in-Chief Gary Bowen in 1996 to represent Significant Others, Friends, Family, and Allies. The term was coined in response to a big furor I kicked up by arguing that partners, at least, should be included in FTM organizations. American Boyz decided I was right, and we have ever since been an FTM and SOFFA organization.
I am also founder and director of Transgender Aging Network, which networks (primarily) professionals who are engaged in researching, serving, training, etc. transgender aging issues. We recently created an additional email support list, ElderTG, specifically for both MTFs and FTMs aged 50+, and their SOFFAs. (The group also includes several people who are bigendered or androgynous.)
I could go on and on, and have! But that's enough for an intro, I think!
Loree
Hi, I'm Deborah Hooker nee Deborah Parks. (Parks is my second middle name; I used it as a last name in my early days of coming out of denial.) My friends call me Deb. Only my grandma is allowed to call me Debbie. :) I'm a pre-operative male-to-female TS; I've been living fulltime female since 1996.
I've been on tgs-pflag since its inception, though I have mostly lurked. I have occasionally offered to talk to folks or given short family situation updates, but that's about it. I've rather enjoyed tgs-pflag because it has had the most supportive and least contentious atmosphere of any T*-related mailing list I've ever been on.
That's the short version. You can find out lots about me that you probably never wanted to know at http://www.pobox.com/~deb/ Be glad I've only got one parenthetical in this email - that's doingpretty good for me. *grin*
-Deb
-- I'm a bitch, I'm a tease, I'm a goddess on my knees... | deb@pobox.com ____ "For extra fun, pop eyeball out of eye socket!" _______| DoD#0034 __\_ / May your soul be celebrating in Valhalla before | Big Wet Sleepy Eyes \ // the Christian God notices that you're dead. | Of A Tree Nymph \/
Hello all, my name is Star Straf. I'm a SO recently moved to Lawrence Kansas. My partner is more then a cross dresser by not transexual - he identifies as transgendered. We have been together for 4 years and living together for about a year and a half.
He spends about 25% of his time en-femme and is planning a trach shave (removal of adams apple) in December, he is also thinking about going on hormones in January for some breast development. Currently he is doing a 'breast test' and wearing forms all the time to figure out the times that having breast as a guy is awkward - the main problem we found so far is swimming.
I'm a 'list geek' on TGSO e-mail list, which is a SO only list for partners of mtf T* folk.
My other interests are horseback riding, science fiction and fatasy conventions and books, polyamory, queer support and computers.
I have an essay in "Trans Forming Families" I was on this list early on, but dropped off cause the traffic got to high but recently rejoined.
My partner is active with TGEA in washington DC where he used to live and we try to make the formal for that every year, we also go to Southrn Comfort in Atlanta every year.
Samantha Star Straf star@prairienet.org http://www.prairienet.org/~star/
Well as an intro here goes.
I am self identified as a transsexual-lesbian committed to my marriage of seven years with a very supportive and loving woman. She is one of the reasons why I joined this list, but also and as important we have a daughter who is 15 months and I wanted to be prepared to answer her questions as they arise. I am active within my church's Peace and Justice Ministry, as well as having attended a few of the local PFLAG meetings.
I plan to begin living full time at the end of this month or perhaps in September depending when I can have everything ready. I have also just finished a degree and am in the process of applying to a couple of different seminaries to get my M.Div with a focus on ministerial counseling.
I am committed to working toward greater tolerance and understanding for all groups and peoples. A major strategy toward this end is increased education and de-mystification. There are many misconceptions out there in the ether that have found popularity with those who are less educated, unfortunately they are also very damaging to us.
I hope that one day being transgendered has no greater worry for a parent than being blue-eyed or green-eyed, that of course is an ideal to strive toward, though a goal that may not be achievable in my lifetime if ever.
I can hope for my sake, and for the sakes of all the SOFFA's.
I look forward to reading everyone elses intros and learning your stories.
Take Care,
Rachail A. Myers
===
the more you love the more you can love, and the better you love. If there was time enough, you could love all the good and decent people of the world,
TAKE CARE and LOVE WELL,
Rachail
Hi All,
I'm Leeanne Mackowski. I spend most of my time stealth on this list because it is for SOFA's. I been a member of the list almost from the beginning. I'm a post-op MtF living with my wife in southern California. I work as a Technical Support Network Engineer for a computer hardware company her in southern California. If any of you use modems or network card in your lap top computer you may end up talking to me one day when it doesn't work.
Other than that Judy and I live a pretty normal life. I just returned to work last week after being off for six weeks because of my operation. Other than that not much is going on.
hUgs,
Leeanne
Hi all,
When I found this list four summers ago, my younger child, then age 24, had recently told me he was "a female in a male body". (His is a long story, which I won't go into here because it is his to tell). At that time I knew nothing of "gender dysphoria," or the trangender community. I'd talked to a "reputable" pyschiatrist who told me my child would have to find a strata of society, probably in the bowels of a big city, that would accept him/her. There was no hope of a "normal" life, srs was a truly bad idea, and I should just try to love him as best I could. I was devastated. Loving my child was not the problem, but the picture this doctor painted for the future was so bleak, so discouraging, so harsh that I could not accept his superior judgement.
Because I needed to learn more than I could discover in books such as the bio of Jan Morris (all that was available in our library on the topic), I got on the Internet and started searching. Thank heavens I found this list. Here were people who knew where I was, who understood my anguish, and, best of all, who could steer me to real information by and about transgendered/transexual men and women whose lives were not bleak, and who were active, contributing, even happy, people.
So, to Mary, Emily, Maggie, Cathy, Evelyn, Jan, Kitten, Auntie Jen, Robin, Raquel, and all of you who helped me and my family through a truly scary, confusing time: THANK YOU!!
Please do not tear this list away from those, like me, who need the support and knowledge and comfort that you ALL, T*s and SOFFAs alike, provide to the unknowing and afraid.
Jane