Date: Tue, 11 Mar 1997
To: pflag-talk@casti.com
From: "Jorge C. Sague" <jsague@visi.net>
Subject: Introduction (kinda long)
Hi everyone Jorge here. Since we are doing intros I'm sending the ne
I just did about am month ago with one little addition. After reading
all the introductions and now knowing everyone I went back and reread
the diary some of you wrote about the PFLAG conference in DC. I have
to say that I regret not having met all of you. I hope we get to meet
soon in Orlando if we can. So here it goes:
Hi my dear family. My name is Jorge Sague. I have been a part of this
family about 6 months now. I was born in Cuba and came to America
about 30 years ago. I grew up in Baltimore and went to one year of
college there. I joned the Navy and served for about 8 years until
they found out I was gay and they discharged me. I was assigned in
Norfolk, Virginia by then. I subsequently applied for the civil
service at the base and have worked since then as a telephone
operator. After my discharge I made a personal commitment to never be
in the closet again. I also made the commitment that I would not hide
the fact that I have AIDS. I have been Hiv+ for 15 years now and have
not had any crises. I just take my pills and that's that.
My activism began when I needed a way to prevent PCP. No drugs were
approved at the time and I needed access to the drugs in use at the
time. I joined a fledgling organization called Tidewater AIDS Crisis
Taskforce (TACT) in norfolk, where I volunteered doing anything and
everything, from stuffing envelopes to helping people take a bath. It
was a very humbling and enobleing experience. I stuck it out with
them until I had to resign because I joined the board of a coalition
that would go on to manage the Ryan White CARE Act funds here. The
late 80s were struggling times for me. I saw so much death, I lost
over 500 friends. One Monday in October 1989 I lost eight friends.
That day I questioned the existence of God and anyone else whom I
thought had any power. I struggled like this for about six months.
One day I was asked to speak to the youth group that was meeting in
an abandoned warehouse about HIV. I went and discovered a group of
teens just meeting on their own, some already with HIV. I really got
angry then. I also got involved, first in the background then later
as an advisor. I still am an advisor to the group, Youth Out United
(YOU). The group meets now in the Unitarian Church in Norfolk with
the blessing of the church and the whole community. The officials in
the city government know of us and the dialogue is just beginning
with them.
I questioned why I was still alive while my friends were dying and
the group was my answer. I made a commitment to serve our youth.
Since I have made that commitment, things happen in my life to help
me along. It isn't what I want that comes to me but what I need. I
worried about a shelter for runaway children and the very same
warehouse that we used to meet in has been reconstructed as the
runaway shelter. A person that I met in a conference about helping
youth is now a cofacilitator of the group. The blessings keep
coming.
Add to this a lovely mature couple, the mom is a retired school
counselor, that started our local PFLAG chapter and we were really on
a roll. Pflag regularly gets 35 people at their meetings and they
have been the most supportive people I have ever met.
My AIDS activism has led me to be the Chair of Southeast HIV Care
Consortium, with 150 member organizations and taking care of 1,000
people. I with pride boast that in our region our pediatric
subcontractors, including the children's hospital here, DID NOT have
any HIV+ children born in 1996. The HIV ward at the hospital is no
longer needed. The blessings continue. New HIV+ persons I meet talk
about undetectable viral loads like we used to chat about low T4s. We
are starting a back to work vocational training program.
You may say that all I have written is fabulous and it is but what
happened to me next is the best. At the group about 3 years ago I met
a very small 16 year old named Jason. He was shy and quiet, I felt
like I needed to protect him. He met another boy at the group
Christopher, 19. Jason and I adopted each other, not on paper but in
our hearts and I have been his father since. The boys have been
partners for three years now. We have lived together for 2 1/2 years.
I have seen Jason graduate from High School, (yes I made a fool of
myself with the camera), Christopher converted to Judaism on his 21st
birthday (another foolish camera moment). Jason is in cosmetology
school and Chrsitopher just finished hi junior college. The love I
have given them has come back to me 10 times 10. May 1 is the day
that they move into their own apartment, I am sad and worried yet
excited. I want them to be independent, but want to still need me. I
trust them, I still am not sure about the rest of the world and I
know I have to trust them to lock the door at night and turn the iron
off.
The funniest thing of all of this is that I thought my being gay was
so different than what my parents were. I was so wrong. I come from a
family of teachers. Here I am teaching at community colleges about
HIV, the youth group is teaching also. I believe in family and the
things I do and say sound so much like my mom and dad it's scary. I
grew up in a family with no abuse, no violence. It was full of love
and education and encouragement. My parents have accepted me totally.
It's past tolerance and acceptance, it's encouragement. My father
never said anything to me to my face but before he retired he lobbied
his company Proter and Gamble to include gays and lesbians in their
policy. They treat my sons as their grandkids, part of the litter. My
sisters and brother treat them like nephews. I say it a lot but I am
truly blessed. I have just "adopted" another son. I met him through
gaynet, he is in Houston and his parents are trying to cure him. We
talked on IRC yesterday, I sent him a million brochure files from
PFLAG that I have. We talked for hours. I cried that night because
such a beautiful child needed a real hug not a cyberhug but a hair
tussling big hug good night. I hope he logs on often and we can talk
a lot, maybe he wont feel so alone. I don't know how much time I have
left here, doesn't really matter as long as while I am here I can
help these kids believe in themselves. Rhea, Gabi, Jason, Jamie, the
Maggitator, Liz, Deb, and I know I'm forgetting people now but all of
you help me every day to keep going and not to be afraid. I tried to
find some of you at the PFLAG conference back in October but timing
was crazy. I hope you all understand how comforting it is to know
that all of you are out there spread around this continent sending
ripples of love and hope. I am also greatful that our ripples can
reach people like my baby in Houston and Jamie and Beth and Ruslan
and many others. The biggest reward I have had is that of parenthood.
To know that after one is gone the love that one has continues in
another person is awesome and that that person will make it grow and
in turn pass it on. So my family I am Jorge, sending ripples from
Norfolk.