Wow! After a great and empowering send off last night, this morning should have been a breeze and it really was another exhilarating send off !!! Media did come! I guess I was surprised that they would come out for Moms and Dads. But there they were. All smiles. I guess for the first time I have to admit that Iâm not just a concerned Mother, but I have turned into what the Media calls an ACTIVIST! Imagine that! Me, who was afraid of everything! An Activist! (Even now, after the trip I still just feel like a Mother who went to Washington to petition for the rights for all my kids. But itâs OK if folks want to call me an activist now. Itâs what we did thatâs important, not what they call us.)
What a start! We went one mile and began to realize that the bus wasnât headed to the freeway but to Terry Cooneyâs apartment to retrieve her WALLETT!!!!! She got through the auto gate OK but not out! So she had to climb the fence. Believe it or not, Donna Pennig and Jennifer Dial caught up with the bus and were in shock to see us stopped so close to the church we had just left. In fact they were absolutely astounded. Gail told them it was ã just a media event, Weâre not really going.ä. You should have seen Donnaâs eyes when she heard that. But she quickly realized Gail was kidding her. With more hugs and waves Good-bye we were off once again. This is a wonderful bus. A bit bouncy though.
Itâs hard for me to comprehend how far Iâve come since the day our wonderful son came out I really knew in my heart, but fear and religious bigotry had a pretty good hold on me for way too long! I NEVER stopped loving my boy for an instant, but fear is almost as powerful as love. I believe now that my acceptance of his way of life began when I stepped through the doors of my first PFLAG meeting. And I also believe that that is when most of us began to heal. I feel it is directly related to how long it took us to get the courage to walk through those doors. One day, one week , 14 years, it is all relative to when we got through the doors. It took a serious heart attack to jerk me off the fence. I decided to push through the fear and go on. It felt good. I kept going. I pushed through more fear and rode in the Gay Pride Parade and Iâve not missed one since. It was such a high, all those kids of all ages who were so thrilled to see us and feel our approval. Then the Homophobia workshops happened. I was there. I learned so much! The fear is less each time. I even pushed again and went to my first Precinct meeting this spring. Oh my God! The fear came back instantly. It was totally full of Religious Political Extremists! My little precinct. Of 26 people, 24 were Religious Political Extremists and 2 were Political ACTIVISTS!! I found out on this trip that Religious Right is an Oxymoron. See how far Iâve come? I even found out what that word meant! It means two words that are opposites like Military Intelligence, Etc.
We stopped about 12:30 in Baton Rouge, La. At the beautiful home of Pat Rickeyâs 91 year old Mom. She graciously invited the whole bus for Huge Ham Sandwiches, salad, chips and cookies! It was just delicious and quite welcome. It was exhilarating to sit outside and get to know each other in the warm sun and eat our delicious meal. The Rickey home was just beautiful. Some of us even fount tiny wild violets growing and blooming in the yard. A memento of the trip. We gave everyone there bus pins. Even a minister was there. A Unitarian. (On the trip I learned that not all religious people are bigoted, many are very supportive and for that I am very grateful!) Back to her beautiful yard. It had the most magnificent old oak trees and a magnolia that was the tallest I had ever seen. It seemed to reach the sky. They bought the house when Pat was 2. There were tree tall Camellias in full bloom. It was just incredible. She is a super lady to let all of us come in on her. She was just wonderful. On to New Orleans to pick up a couple of riders, Betty Moynan and Claire Katner.
New Orleans-This is incredible! We pull down this narrow street that wasnât even marked! I mean just one lane wide with cars parked all down the right side. About half- way down the street we see them standing out there at the street with signs waiting for us. What a thrill! Dinno, our wonderful bus driver who can turn the bus at a right angle, etc. parked us and we all piled out of the bus and into Bettyâs house. It was a lovely home. So comfortable beautifully decorated. They also had pastries and strawberries for us . I see a pattern happening. But it sure is good. Weâre getting spoiled! Amazing, already Betty and Claire are part of the group. Claire has 10 kids, three of them are Gay. Iâm wondering is her family traditional by Republican standards? How sad to be so narrow minded.
Thereâs a song running through my head on this the most important journey of my life to this point. It says ãI decided long ago never to walk in anyoneâs shadowä Give our children a ãsense of Prideä and ã Dignityä. It is called THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL by Whitney Houston. It just keeps going through my head. I always thought it was for African Americans but the last time I heard it I thought of my child whom I gave a sense of pride and his dignity and I just donât want anyone messing with my kid!!!!!!!
"They gave me a medal for killing 2 men and a discharge for loving anotherä. A quote from a T-shirt in the Washington March 1993! We watched a movie of it. I watched the whole parade on PBS in 1993 and was really moved to get involved somehow. My life wasnât spared for nothing. Maybe Iâm supposed to get out of my closet and DO SOMETHING!!!!! I do believe we have been chosen by some higher power.
3-17-96 Bus trip- continued
I still canât believe last night!!! We pulled into Mobile and got to the hotel about 5:30. Dinno has had to take this bus, which only had 900 miles on it and is 45 feet long into some mighty tight places! But he is fearless and a really good driver. He has made many a car back up. Once a whole line of cars or weâd still be sitting there. Even a guy in Leather with a weird helmet on a huge motorcycle had to back up a long way. It was tough to do and he wasnât happy. But whoâs going to argue with a HUGE bus?
At 7:00 we went to a church and met the PFLAG chapter of one Mom who is trying to start a chapter there. She and her wonderful friends both gay and straight had made a veritable FEAST. Huge pan of sausage and chicken Jambalaya and a wonderful salad, fresh bread, drinks and for dessert, fudge and cookies. They even had set the table with China and flatware. The tables were in a U shape and there were fresh cut flowers and wrought iron candleholders with lighted candles. It was just so special. There were daisies, tulips, and lilies in the arrangements. They were just beautiful. It was so nice to be appreciated and pampered. I could get used to this. We were astounded. It was so delicious!!!! Then they taught country western line dances to all who could still stand after stuffing so. It was great fun. Then home to bed at the Motel.
And now weâre off and by 9: 23 weâre into light rain. We have another full day ahead. I am ready for it. With a Pit Stop in Montgomery we follow in the footsteps of another Civil Rights Group. We are beginning to realize we are making history as well. We passed out fliers in the line at the john. Also walked around a bit and while walking we have to hold up for Sandy Lane to pass out a flier to a man who is way off to himself with his bedroll. She just walked right up to him with no fear at all and handed him a flier and the next thing we knew he was shaking her hand and thanking her for what we were doing. And so the serendipitys continue. As we roll along a ways after the pit stop Mary Lou Kurtz and Mary Kay Jones realize that someone is beside the bus waving the red flier at them. They look down and sure enough, the man has the flier and is blowing kisses at them. It was just wonderful. We will never know how many lives we have touched by this trip. These fliers as the trip logo have been Divinely inspired. They are just long enough to tell exactly what is needed but not too long to read in an instant. And people are reading them as we hand them to them. The shirts and Tâs do get their attention. Thank you so much for the design of both.
Our Poet Laureate Jane Smith has written a wonderful and powerful poem which she reads to us. I love it as does everyone!!! Much applause. Will publish it in our trip letter. (Mine alone seems to be turning into a book instead of a letter. I wonder if anyone will want to read all this, but I am determined to write all I saw and felt for those who couldnât come).
Our lunch was pleasant. We went to Opelika, Al. And stopped at the Western Sizzlin and ate the buffet. We tried to get in there before the church bunch did. We got a lot of looks from the locals. Some passed out fliers. It was once again really nice to see those smiling faces of people who love us waiting to greet us at the door. Lots of hand shaking and hugging all around. Soon lunch is over and we are on our way once more to Atlanta to pick up more riders.
Watching movies again- some thoughts that occur or are special to me.
ãStop acting like God-Start acting like Jesusä Sign from Washington March
ãSpecial rights - created by the IN group to keep the OUT group outsideä
Weâve practiced our lobbying and practiced our songs for the vigil. At Anderson SC we got caught up in an awful jam of cars. There was a terrible wreck and a car was flipped over on the right in a ditch and someone was still trapped in it. Four race cars were pulled off to the side. One was the Miller Draft car. I just know that person still trapped was dead. But, maybe Iâm wrong. I sure hope so. Iâm learning to think positive and pray and trust God.
We stop at Charlotte for the night. There will be another soirÚe. I can really get used to this.
3-18-96
Back on the bus. And what a night! We pulled into Dallas, NC. There were about 20 people there from Charlotte area. That Dinno had to find it in a Fog and go down a narrow winding road. We missed the turn the first time. Thank Donna for the Cellular phones. We had to call for directions and he actually had to back up quite a ways because he couldnât find a place to turn around. But we finally did make the right turn and end up with the bus in a cul-de-sac. I swear, I donât know how he ever got it out of that one. It was at the home of Joyce and Dub Rankin. And it was a wonderful modern home on the side of a hill with a flowing stream at the bottom of the hill. I sure was sorry it was dark. They had it lit but it sure would have been better if I could see everything. It was a house to remember for sure. It had several large modern sculptures strategically placed. There was a large deck surrounding the back of the house. It was just wonderful. And the food, well I lived in NC for 16 years off and on and I have never eaten NC barbecue as good as that was that night. It was pork. Also there was coleslaw, potato salad, chips, pickles, olives, tomatoes, tea, wine, cold drinks and the desserts were incredible!! We have eaten our way across the country. But it was surely delicious. And these people have opened their homes and their hearts to us. Edna Martin and I went home with a wonderful young woman who had a beautiful home in Matthews, NC. Her name was Vogel I think. I just canât remember and didnât write it down. I feel bad that I didnât even remember her name and yet there are all of a sudden so many new names to remember of so many who are doing so very much for us. I did take her picture. She was really kind to bring us home. In the morning she passed us to another wonderful woman who walked through a lot of fear to get us back to the Motel in the Charlotte morning traffic. But she did it and Iâm sure she is not the same from that point either. We are all changed by this in many ways. We have been blessed.
Once again we stopped to pick up 2 more riders. One from Mt. Airy, NC and one from Winston-Salem, NC. And once again there was food. And some more of the greatest people Iâve ever met. The two were Shelby Nichols and Flora Isasi. They sure were a wonderful addition to our group. It turns out that Flora remembers my first visit to PFLAG in Winston-Salem when I first got my courage up to go to a meeting. All I did was whine about my homophobia and then never go back. I had a lot of excuses, but Kitty who was the contact for them then was always kind and would always listen when I called. I have to write her and let her know just how far Iâve come from that first meeting.
I had a Panic Attack today. Right before Greensboro old tapes began to play in my head. I used to live near there and really didnât want to leave there ever. But if I hadnât I sure wouldnât have ever grown spiritually to this point. So I understand but it sure didnât stop the panic. Old fears about being alone came up. The fear was really POWERFUL. I told several people and it subsided. I feel OK about it now. Growing up in public is not easy at all.
We stopped for lunch in Durham at Shoneyâs. We were so used to being greeted at the door by friendly faces that some of the group that entered first thought that some just plain folks were there to greet them and went in shaking hands and telling them their name. It was really funny. Were they ever surprised on both sides. But it worked out well. Food was good and we passed out fliers and were able to talk to several people about our mission. We have talked to many good and fair minded people who are praying for us.
We stopped at Richmond at a MCC Church, picked up Rosalie Witbeck and were greeted by signs and someone waving a huge Rainbow flag. They were wonderful. After more snacks, and lots of photos. We were off again with Washington ever closer. The joke now is ãWhen is the next stop? We havenât eaten in 20 minutes!!
WE ARE HERE!!!! DC!!!! Made it thanks to Dinno our leadfooted , fearless bus driver. Everyone hugging-2 ladies from California hanging our sweatshirt out the window and waving. Blake, Gordon and many others to meet us. It was just wonderful to be here. Sold a few more T-shirts and Sweats- Nearly sold out. Dinner was very pleasant. I had a nice SALAD. Company still super! Finally to my room and to bed. Sure feels good. These are the most congenial group of people Iâve ever been with.
3-19-96
I still cannot realize that I am going to the WHITE HOUSE!! Me! Someone on TV last night said ãFor every action there is an equal or stronger Reaction`â. Well, I guess we are that Re-Action. It sure doesnât pay to make a Mother mad. Our children are fine upstanding and moral. It is high time we let people know that. Everyone shouldnât be labeled for what only a part of itâs population does. No one condemns the whole congress for what a few congressmen do. Or policemen. More later. Full day ahead. In my wildest dreams I never believed I would ever be here and in the White House·····
Well, it wasnât the White House, it was the gray building next door. But, of course, we were told all the business is held in this building, not the White House, That is their home.
Found out later that Betty Moynan said something to the right person that day and was treated to passes to the White House. Good for her. They did have a nice reception with lots of orange juice and sweet rolls and a couple of speeches from the HRC and a Senator who said he wished he was ãQualified to be in PFLAGä. We made sure he knew he and his family were most certainly QUALIFIED to be in PFLAG. I really was glad that there was food this time as with all the scheduled meetings and the Photo on the Capitol steps, I missed lunch. Imagine that. At 2:00 we went to see Bill Archer. Norma and Dick Graves, Barbara Winston, Mary Lou Kurtz, Mary Kay Jones, Terry Cooney, and Me. Iâm sorry to say, Edna Martin got left at the meeting and missed her Archer Appointment. We didnât see Archer except to shake his hand. He was literally in a Senate committee meeting on Health Care. So we got the token handshake and invited to watch the meeting. It was absolutely jammed with people so we left. We did manage to say what we wanted to say to his aide and once again we left the tape Straight From the Heart asking that they please watch it. Mary Lou Kurtz who has straight kids but came along because she feels strongly that this is the right thing to do really brought it home for all of us. She said to the aide, ãI see something very wrong in this beautiful office!ä We all got quiet. She said ãin this beautiful office with all the plaques and awards, over there on that desk are some beautiful photographs of Mr. Archerâs wife, children. Those he truly loves. These peopleâs children canât do that. Even that could cost them their jobs if they display who they love. Are these not equal and not special rights?ä What could he say? What we said in that room- each of us- was powerful and honest. We learned that from our children. The love for our children and others shows. It is power and it is growing and empowering other parents and friends. We have dropped that symbolic Pebble into the stream of life and we are making ripples. No matter how small. One day weâll see a change. With love and patience. But our silence has given power to those who would hurt our children. We have crossed a drawn line and will invite others as often as possible to step over it and join us.
Back to the hotel for a light lunch with the bus bunch who are so easy to spot. We must have opened some eyes. And if we can just turn one person around and they can educate one, weâll be happy. So many special and poignant moments. So many heart tugging stories. So much love.
At the Capitol steps after the Photo I overheard a woman say to another ãWell weâre OUT now for sureä and there was almost terror in her face. I can tell, Iâve been there. I piped up and said ã and donât you EVER go back in there. Itâs cold and dark in there. Stay out in the light where there is Love and Support!ä I also say Newt Gengrichâs sister there in the crowd all alone. I decided I could say something to her and should so I just walked right up to her and thanked her for being there. Funny, she told me thank you for our being there. She was really glad we were there. She even attended the meeting afterward.
I also forgot to say that the bus didnât show up for the morning reception. We all hopped into Cabs and got there in plenty of time. Later we found out our beautiful brand new bus was broken into and they stole Dinnoâs clothes, coat and icechests with food, Kyleâs personal VHS tapes and a lot of electronic equipment of Irvâs. One of those tapes was Priscilla Queen of the Desert. All will be quite educational for those who took them when they are watched.
The Flashlight Vigil was next on our agenda. We had 2 plan changes. First it was to be a candlelight vigil, but at the last minute before we left they said due to Fire codes at the Capitol steps we couldnât use candles. So Donna DeCamp got on the phone and tiny flashlights were procured. Then it rained all day and really was cold and windy. We all had our cold wet clothes on when the decision was made to move the whole shebang to a beautiful little church to whom weââ be forever grateful. The priest or bishop or whatever he was said such a beautiful welcome. He said that there is the image of God in every Human Being in this world. Let no man feel better than any other. Not to ever forget it. None can be excluded from the Love of God. It was a very moving experience. The DC gay and lesbian choir sang for and with us. The songs they picked were both empowering and uplifting and beautiful. We each were given a tiny flashlight and one by one we each claimed our gay and lesbian bisexual and trans-gendered children. Lots of Hugs, lots of tears, and lots of Love! This whole trip has been such a thrilling experience. I know I will sound redundant but words fail me at times like this. After the vigil the bus took us back to the hotel. A bunch of us met and Craig Stephens led us to the gay bar Trumpets for a sit down dinner at 10:00. It really was a lot of fun. And several of the gay kids came up and hugged some of us and thanked us for being there. The food was delicious. One young man told me how he came out. It was nice just to sit and listen. I asked if he needed a hug and he said yes. Thatâs one of the things I do best so I did! Took a cab back to save my knee which has a torn cartilage in it. And back at the hotel, to bed!!!!
3-21-96
Yesterday most went to the Holocaust museum but I chose to forego that. I just didnât want to leave DC with those images of hate and fear and cruelty in my head so I slept in and my roommate was worn out so we pampered ourselves and ordered breakfast in our room. It turned out that they only charged us for one breakfast , but we had 2 with 2 glasses of orange juice and a big ice bucket full of ice. I just couldnât believe our good fortune and then realized there must be someone gay involved and this was their gift for us. So when I put out the dishes I left a note that said ãDelicious, Thank you very much .ä I also drew a little triangle and a heart through it. I journalized and watched TV for a while and then I dressed and went down to the lobby. I saw several familiar faces in the restaurant. I joined them and compared notes about their upcoming Congress appointments. (They were on the way to see Phil Graham) They looked beautiful all dressed up. They left and all of a sudden I realized I was ALONE. It was exactly what I had feared. But this was different. I wasnât afraid at all. With all the love in this group and all the trust in them I was very comfortable. So I ordered a chicken sandwich and began to journal again. Barbara Winston came up and wanted to go over her thoughts of what she would say to Grahamâs aide. I said ãSureä. She did a beautiful job, said Thanks and hopped in a cab and went.
It was nice to be needed. I went back to journalizing and in a few minutes Dr. Louis Loeser came up with a sad face. His wife had somehow been late for their appointment and he had to see his Colorado Congressmenâs aide alone. He didnât feel he had done well. He is a very soft spoken man who had a stroke a short time ago and is doing very well but feels he still talks a little slowly. He thought he didnât do as well as she would have. And he thought he should have waited for her. I told him I felt that had he waited, they would have both missed the appointment if he had done that. I felt that it was meant to be exactly the way it came off. That maybe a quiet, soft spoken man who wasnât yelling or demanding just might make them listen. He said that heâd forgotten to take his photo album that they had made of their children and those of their PFLAG chapter. All of a sudden I thought, Why not take it over there now? They said to follow up. What could it hurt? His face lit up and he said you know, I could do that. And he left to go and get it. I went on up to my room and directly the phone rang and it was Dr. Loeser and he said ãWill you go with me?ä I said sure, I can do that. I wasnât dressed near at handsome as he was. He sure did look impressive in his dark suit and Camel coat. I began to doubt my self as we got to the lobby and asked a couple of the heroes I knew were strong. But both said Iâm used up, youâll have to do it. So I took a deep breath and hopped into the cab with him and off we went to see the Colorado delegation. It was a piece of cake·Would you believe when he came in the aide said ãHi Dr. Loeser, What can I do for you today?ä And he was able to show his book and talk about his kids and their PFLAG family. I pointed out the photos of Mc Innisâ kids and family and gave him Mary Louâs words, thanked him for having us again and said Iâd visit him in Colorado. I know it made Dr. Loeserâs trip a success to be able to give them that book. And Iâm sure he made a good impression on them or that aide wouldnât have remembered his name past the door. It was really a good feeling to be able to help someone with their destiny.
More and more I feel this trip has taken on a life of itâs own. Things are directed by a force of power greater than all of us. Too much happens by ãaccidentä. I just found out Dr. Sinclair and Kathy ãaccidentallyä were on an elevator with Jessie Helms. They gave him another ear full. He said ãThere are a lot of strange groups here this week.ä He wouldnât even look at them but looked down.
Last night there was a reception for us at another old Episcopal church. Built in 1772! National PFLAG did it. It was great. More food. Photographs, Stories of Success and Frustration, Happiness, and Pride, Sadness, and failure. But even failure today is a seed planted for success of tomorrow. This is a beginning. After a few introductions they let people who missed the vigil be able to claim their children. Many did claim theirs and others. We left pretty soon after that. Sherry Stephens, Jane Smith and I went to Lunas, another gay restaurant. I had a foot tall Strawberry Shortcake. We passed out our fliers. I canât believe this! A young man came up to us and told us that PFLAG saved his family. I feel that it has saved all our families. His father threw him out. For a year he was on his own. His Mom tried to help him. He was young and bright and some other mother took him in. He got a job and went back to school and is getting his education and paying for it himself. I was so proud of him. His Mom started PFLAG and later his Dad followed and joined. Now the family is together again and he and his Dad can even joke about the pain of the separation. Wow! Serendipity!!! We finally went back to the hotel and to bed. Watched a little TV. A wonderful day. Another wonderful day!!!
3-21-96 Trip continued
And now today.
We got up late for us. No breakfast but I had packed yesterday so could gather everything pretty quickly, shower and dress and get out of there on time. Lots of hugs and onto our wonderful bus. There are fewer of us now. Mary Lou and Mary Kay and others flew back. We thought there was going to be snow but providence saw to it that it was only cloudy which made it just perfect.
We stopped for lunch at Raleigh. Split up and met back at the bus when we arrived too early for the restaurant they had picked. We ended up at Pizza Amore. It was really good and once again we were blessed by some of those with us being able to talk to a black woman who had just learned she had a gay son. They promised to send her literature and help her all they could. Just told her to tell him she still loves him just the way he is. We met Lalaâs fine friends and left her behind. She was very special too.
We stopped outside Greensboro and let off Flora and Shelby. They were wonderful people. I will write them. We are all changed by the stories on this trip. I only know those Iâve been privileged to hear. Those of gay sons and lesbian daughters. Stories of pride in them and love for them. Supportive families. Stories of PFLAG saving families. Of grateful gays and lesbians who hugged us and thanked us for being there. For trying to help. To think this was a dream of Barbara Winston and even more for Gail Rickey. We just joined them for support. And what an education and thrilling ride this has been.
When our bus was broken into, Barbara Winston went out and bought us all new tapes!! So we have had tapes to watch on the way home. It sure was good of you to do this for us. Each of us has had a purpose for being here! A long time ago Dr. Sinclair said Îyou all have been chosen for this mission from Godä Now I see what he meant! We will multiply and be back. What pushed me into this activism was the death in Katy of the gay man, Frank Mangione and the beating of his partner Kenny Stern. Mangione was stabbed 35 times by a couple of animals from Montana in Katy visiting their Mom who was totally homophobic. It was the last straw for me. That is my back yard.
When we cut off from I40 right at Winston-Salem I really had an urge to jump off the bus and head North to my love, Pilot Mountain. I lived there 7 years. I was the most creative in my life there. I miss it so. I think sometimes what our lives would have been like if Iâd had that job at the NC welcome center that I wanted more than life. Instead the woman gave me $20 and told me to buy a book on Women in mid-life crisis. I was devastated that day. But now I know it was NCâs loss and PFLAGâs gain. I sure wouldnât be where I am now spiritually.
Itâs been a long day and weâre running late. But itâs been a good day. We had to stop at Durham at a Wal-Mart for an interview on the phone because our cellular phones are dead. The Houston Chronicle interviewed Dr. Sinclair for a long time.
We finally arrived at Greenville, shaky and tired to a room full of more fine folks eagerly waiting for our arrival. Couldnât believe it, on the way in Alice Wilson ran smack into the glass beside the entry door. The food was ready and hot. There were sacks of Chick-Fil-A sandwiches with drinks and they had baked some scrumptious desserts!!! I have lost it now for sure, I had 2 desserts. We told our stories, took a group photo. Then some went to the motel and Edna and I went home with Carole and Joseph Lender. They really are special. He had just come in from a trip to NY City and hadnât even been home yet. They really love PFLAG! We had a big King size bed and was it ever nice. We slept like rocks. Not much time for learning about each other but she is wonderful. And theyâve been together 36 years. Through thick and thin. Heâs super too. They are working very hard to help PFLAG grow. With 2 chapters. Their home was just beautiful. She decorated it herself. I gave her an egg I had painted. She was thrilled. We talked about co-dependency and eating disorders. I have found several people this trip who have courageously walked through similar experiences.
One thing on that subject-When we were at the ãWhite House Receptionä going up the stairs to get into the building it was really cold and windy. We were all jammed together trying to get in and out of the wind. I began to feel panicky and hooked my fingers through Mary Kayâs raincoat for fear of being separated. I again voiced my fear and said something like ãIâm afraid of being lost or separated from someone I knowä. The lady standing beside me said ã In my whole life, I never heard anyone express how I feel so perfectly as you just didä. I think somehow we both felt better after that. We compared stories of feelings. It was so nice to know someone who feels as you do. That goes for PFLAG as well. It feel so good to have so many others who feel as you do. I also realized later what had caused that feeling. When I was in High School the daughter of a judge in Fort Worth that was in my class in school went to Las Vegas to visit her mother who was in the Mayo Clinic there. She arrived and went to the hotel and checked in, hopped into a cab and was never seen or heard from again until they found her body in the desert about 4 or 5 years later. There it was. And I had put it out of my mind. Ha! It was there and I was just getting the uncomfortable feelings of being left alone and disappearing and never being seen again. Now I can put it into proper perspective. I am sure thankful for this trip for more than one reason. I sure have been given some great gifts.
When we got back to the bus we found out Gailâs Father died the night before. And being on this trip, they were only 40 miles away and already packed with plenty of clothes. So she and Pat left us at Greenville and we are on our way once again. We were sorry to see them standing there as we drove away. We tried once more to number ourselves off so we wouldn't get left when we stopped at the Western Sizzlin at Opelika. We had tried once before to number off with disastrous results! But as we were leaving the Western Sizzlin due to the fact that it was closed, we all just piled back on the bus and started off. We were numbering off again when Dinno looked over toward the Western Sizzlin and saw Myrtle Meaux running through the parking lot!!!! He picked her up and now weâre all together-didnât leave anyone and we call off every stop now. Sure glad we didnât have to tell Gail that right off we left someone. Since we couldnât eat at Opelika we went on to Montgomery and ate at a Cracker Barrel. We have discovered on this trip that they have reversed their policy of discriminating against Lesbians and Gays. We have stopped at several on the way. And the answer was the same, No Problems at all with hiring them. The food was good and we got right in. Weâre still passing out those fliers and talking to anyone who will listen. We really show up. Weâre still wearing our bus Tâs and sweats. It is an absolutely gorgeous sunny day!!!!
Jane Smith had a tragedy! She lost one of her favorite Texas earrings. It was the last straw! Sheâs lost 5 earrings recently. She was livid!! They just interviewed Kyle and asked how he was holding up being stuck with all these heterosexuals for this long. It was so funny. Then they gave him a card with a hefty donation to help him replace his VHS tapes that were stolen in the break in. Since they left our sign with the logo on it in the window I feel sure they were just hungry and maybe wanted stuff to sell for drugs. They didnât get in under the bus, just in. And later learned the other buses werenât so fortunate. There was vandalism too.
Weâre supposed to have a big party in New Orleans tonight. Can sleep late in the morning or go out for breakfast. We stopped at a rest stop at Pascagula, Ms. There was a young woman with her little girl about 4 or 5 dressed in shorts and it was COOL and WINDY. The child was freezing and the woman was really upset trying to get into her car. She was locked out. For how long, we didnât know. But it was clear the child was freezing. Susan Upchurch bought her one of our LOGO sweatshirts and went and put it on her so she wouldnât get sick. A K-9 sheriff was there and he called her a locksmith. We had a time getting Sherry Stephens away from that dog. It even had its own baseball cards.
Alice doesnât have black eyes today but her bridge of her nose is swollen. By the way, the little girl sure was glad to be in that great big warm sweatshirt.
We just crossed Lake Ponchatrain and on one of the inlets there were a lot of homes. Someone had built himself a CASTLE!!!!! It was so neat. Had a round turret and everything. It was great.
We arrived ahead of the party. But they soon came with arms loaded with more food. Lots of Crawfish dished, fresh bread, pasta dishes and lots more. All as congenial as everyone weâve met. So very hospitable and supportive. And eager to hear all we could tell them. This was where we heard the story of Betty Moynan and her trip to the real White House. I got the baby in the King Cake!!! It is good luck to find it. But I have to buy the next one. That is a special cake that they have for Mardi Gras. It is a lot like a sweet roll but has lots of colors on top. Somewhere in that cake is a tiny plastic baby. The one who finds it has to buy the next one. Iâll do that when I get back to New Orleans. I saved the baby.
3-23-96
We finally got to the hotel about 9:00. Threw our stuff in the room and ran back downstairs and met Irv and Jane Smith. We walked over to Bourbon Street. It was pretty crowded and getting even more so.. I have always wanted to go into a female impersonators bar. So they said sure and in we went. We were really surprised at how good looking they were. Better than I ever looked! And they werenât near as vulgar as the one strip joint I went to with Henry when I was 22 or so and my mother baby sat our Son. We really had a good time. Then we walked back to the hotel looking in all the windows at the most beautiful things. One guy had set up a steel drum set and was playing for tips. Everywhere there was something going on. The weather was just perfect. Beautiful blue skies. Cool but not cold.
This morning up about 6:00 took a shower and donned the uniform. Dashed down to the lobby and met Irv and Jane again to go to the Jackson Square area and have Beniets. They were Delicious. Afterward we took a few photos, tried to shop but the stores were all closed till after we were due back. So we walked around the square looking at the art. There was a gallery that had Pettitâs paintings of Black heritage in bright colors. I remember her from my art show days. She was really great then and still is. Weâre both getting old. I think it was Birmingham that I saw her first. Not sure. We started to walk back to the hotel when a wonderful mule drawn carriage came by. The mule had a red Sombrero with the brim turned up. What a sight. We hailed it and got a 30 min. tour of Bourbon Street. There were 6 of us in that carriage. Edna got to sit up there with the driver. Sandy Lane and Jane Smith passed out a bunch of fliers. Most were receptive. I also was talking over several people in the elevator. I was talking to the bell hop on the other side with the folks caught in between. I told him all about out trip and itâs purpose. He loved it. And those people just ran off the elevator. It was really funny. They were trapped and I just talked and talked about DC and equal rights etc. But I planted a seed of hope into them. I also met a woman from Utah who has an 11 year old and is really upset because her son canât be in a club at school because they banned all school clubs to keep a small group of Gay and Lesbian kids from being able to have their own club for support. It is just plain disgusting. I told her to contact her local PFLAG group.
And just before we left, we went into the store in the hotel. We talked to the girl at the register who just got so excited about what we are doing. She was thrilled we told her. The energy just grows and multiplies. You can feel it. We are all committed to breaking the silence! This had just been an incredible journey. One, it has been a privilege, honor and blessing to be a part of it all. I could have never been able to pull it off if it hadnât been for my wonderful and supportive husband, Henry, and my gentle patient and loving son, Hank who plays a harp with the Fantastiks in SoHo in NY City. He also works as a word processor at Estee Lauder. He just happens to be Gay. He is also a competitive Country Western Dancer. And very good at all of it I might add. Weâre both very proud of him. He has a masters degree in Harp and I still believe he is destined for greatness.
Now we are stuck in a massive traffic jam just outside of New Orleans. This will slow us down. Didnât take long and weâre rolling again. Through the swamps. Itâs such a marvel that they were able to build these roads. Incredible! Next stop, LUNCH. What else. We stopped at Patâs Seafood at Exit 115 in the Atchafalaya Swamp near Lafayette, La. The Patâs Restaurant is on a bayou. We all sat outside on the deck and had lots of crawfish and shrimp. Watched people fish on the other side of the bayou. Saw a snake swimming for the first time. Awesome!! So glad I wasnât in the water. We gave Dinno a nice card and a big tip. He was surprised and pleased. Should be home around 7.
Back on the bus Barbara Winston gave out the first Red Pepper Awards to those who were shy and fearful in the beginning but who have blossomed into productive and supportive members of the Bus Bunch. The winners were: Myrtle Meaux, Sherry Stephens, Edna Martin, and Me. Iâm very proud of my award. I feel that we have ALL contributed to the success of this trip. Each of us from Kyle, the token Gay guy, who reminds us of why weâre here and is there to support and promote us. Heâs there for us whenever we need him. We are all equal. We do miss Pat and Gail and wish they could be with us as we pull into the church.
We are home!!! The bus canât make the turn and has to go around the block. But theyâre there. Our wonderful, supportive kids and husbands with banners and hugs. We all hugged Dinno and he was gone with Fred Wilson ( who has lost his voice with all his talking to others) standing and saluting Dinno. It was beautiful to watch. Everyone hates to leave each other. But it is finished for now. We hug and promise to keep in touch. This is a very special group. By the grace of God we have gone and achieved what we set out to do. And we have had a wonderful time doing it. Now we watch and see how it grows from here. Written from my heart and soul for anyone who has the time to read this. If you couldnât go maybe this will be just a taste of the way it was for us all. God bless.
Hugs, Kathy Whitmire (Not the Mayor-Just a Mom and loving and grateful PFLAG member) PFLAG D.C. Trip
Copyright, 1996 Kathy Whitmire
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