I have been married for 41 years and we have 3 adult offspring, two in-laws, and 5 grandchildren, all of whom are wonderful, talented and loving people whom we love ever so much.
Our middle "adult child" is a genetic female who came out to us 19 years ago as a lesbian and came out to us again last year as an FtM transsexual. Since he has started transition we have just recently begun adapting to the new name and new pronouns. Last year was a challenging one for us as the TS issue arose on the heels of our (genetic) son's diagnosis of leukemia.
However, our son is now back at work and we have not only welcomed our new son and begun to understand TG/TS issues, but have started providing some education in this area.
I have masters degrees in social work/commuity organization and clinical psychology and am retired from a career as a civil rights activist, social service planner/administrator, and psychotherapist. Following retirement and moving from Ohio to the Roanoke area I started a PFLAG chapter here, was a Regional Director until my son's illness intervened, and have returned to the presidency of the Roanoke PFLAG chapter. It's a small, but growing, group and I cover the Help Line, edit the Newsletter, do frequent speaking engagements and media work, lobby, and am currently organizing a local gay/gay-friendly Telephone Advocacy Tree. My husband has also become involved in most of these activities.
Two years ago, when I discovered the prejudice bi-sexuals face even within the gay community, I focused my reading and speaking on this topic, and told everyone that next year I wanted to learn more about transsexuality. Little did I realize! So, in a way, I'm right on schedule - with a big boost from our own new son. I am especially intrigued with the concept of continua, starting with bi-sexuality, extending to all aspects of sexuality and gender, and on into "new" ways to view the whole inter-connected web of life. As with homosexuality, my life has been greatly enriched already by my introduction to transgender issues.
I have recently coordinated a Transgender Workshop for the PFLAG Mid-Atlantic Conference and expect to be involved in several more similar events this year. I went to the 1995 PFLAG Convention with the idea of starting a TG/TS network and was delighted to find others on the same wave-length. The TGS-PFLAG net has been a fabulous education, great fun, and an introduction to especially wonderful people as well.
In May 1996 Louise Rafkin's new book Different Daughters II is due out, with my chapter about our new son. It may be the first published account by a mother of a transsexual and I am proud to be able to contribute even a tiny bit to this relatively new, growing field. ( At my son's request we used pseudonyms; I am "Margaret Smith".)
Besides Roanoke,VA we also visit in Santa Rosa CA, Hopewell Junction and Chautauqua,NY and I am happy to communicate with anyone - TG/TS folks or family members - any time on any related issues, in person or otherwise.
Email me at MaryBoenke@AOL.com and I'll share phone number or postal address, as needed.
TGS-PFLAG people
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