Bolin, Anne, In Search of Eve: Transsexual Rites of Passage. 1988 $14.95 Burke, Phyllis, Gender Shock: Exploding the Myths of Male and Female. 1996 $ 23.95 Cossey, Caroline, The Caroline Cossey Story 1991 $12.95 Chloe Ann Rounsley, Mildred L. Brown , True Selves : Understanding Transsexualism-For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals. 1996 $25.00 Ettner, Randi, Confessions of a Gender Defender : A Psychologist's Refelctions on Life Among the Transgendered. 1996 $14.95 Feinberg, Leslie, Stone Butch Blues. 1993 $12.95 Feinberg, Leslie, Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Ru Paul. (heavy on the Marxist polemics.) 1996 $27.50 Moir, Anne & Jessel, David, Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women. 1992, not at Different Light. Morris, Jan, Conundrum. 1974, 1987 $12.95 Pratt, Mini Bruce, S/He. (About Leslie Feinberg) 1995 $10.95 Stringer, JoAnn Altman. The Transsexual's Survival Guide II: To Transition and Beyond for Family, Friends and Employers. 1992 $12.95 Stuart, Kim Elizabeth, The Uninvited Dilemma: A Question of Gender. 1983, 1991 $14.95 Tremain, Rose, Sacred Country. 1995 $10.00 Williams, Walter, The Spirit and the Flesh: Sexual Diversity in American Culture 1992 $16.00 A Different Light Bookstore, 489 Castro St. San Francisco CA 94114 1-800-343-4002 Lambda Rising Bookstore 1625 Connecticut Ave., N.W. Washington, DC 2009 1-800-621-6929 pflag-talk/tgs-pflag website http://www.critpath.org/pflag-talk/ tgs-pflag email list http://www.critpath.org/pflag-talk/tgsfaq.html

TransParent Issue Number 2, June 1997 PFLAG TRANSGENDER NETWORK GROWING by Mary Boenke, T-SON Co-Chair Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) has nine Special Outreach Networks (SON). These include Straight Spouses, Youth, Interfaith, People of Color, Family AIDS and others, all geared to provide a structure within PFLAG for important sexual minority related special interests. When I went to the National PFLAG Conference in September, 1995 hoping to establish a Trangender SON (T-SON), I was surprised and delighted to find that others had the same goal; they also knew how to use the Internet to organize! Following an excellent Trans Workshop chaired by Annie Johnson, we got together and "hatched" what has become T-SON. In November 1995 the TGS-PFLAG email list was born and immediately became very active, providing both education and support for over 100 trans persons and family members. TGS-PFLAG certainly was a life saver for my husband and me. Our long-time lesbian daughter had just come out to us a second time - as a transsexual- and we were eager to learn a great deal very quickly. We didn't even know what questions to ask! It was by lurking and listening that we learned - and grew - so much and so fast. Now, less than two years later, the PFLAG T-SON has: Helplines for private support, information about the email lists, requests for literature, and referrals. Kitten Gross, online-helpline <KittenGr@aol.com> ; telephone-helpline (216) 691-HELP ; 2121 So. Green Road, South Euclid Ohio 44121 TGS-PFLAG email list for group support PFLAG-Talk/TGS-PFLAG website: http://www.critpath.org/pflag-talk/ PFLAG-T-SON email list as an organizing tool Our online and hardcopy newsletter: TransParent, Other online and hardcopy publications 12 regional PFLAG-T-SON coordinators plus Canada, 120 chapter PFLAG-T-SON coordinators Networking with five Trans-Family support groups TransFamily of Cleveland website: http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/4378/ Workshops at PFLAG, Transgender, and faith-community conferences at local, regional and national levels, Referrals to professionals who work with transgenders and their families A chapter in the second edition of Different Daughters T-SON stories in PFLAG and other publications A committed, hardworking leadership team. Because the Trangender movement has taught us how to use Internet, PFLAG's newest SON is by far the most active of any of the PFLAG SONs. We are indebted to our transgender children and friends for sharing their lives, teaching us about trans concerns and even helping us organize. We love and honor them (you!) for opening our hearts and minds to this extremely important issue. Mary Boenke, T-SON Co-Chair, <maryboenke@aol.com> -- (540) 890-3957 -- 180 Bailey Blvd., Hardy, VA 24101

The GID and "pre-homosexual" children

by Maggie Heineman <maggie@critpath.org>

Gender Identity Disorder and Psychosexual Problems in Children and Adolescents, by Kenneth Zucker, Ph.D. and Susan Bradley, M. D. (Guilford Press, 1995) is reviewed by the National Association of Research and Homosexuality (NARTH) (http://www.narth.com/docs/bulletin01/02.html) and mentioned in the lengthy article The Disparate Classification of Gender and Sexual Orientation in American Psychiatry by Katherine K.Wilson, of the Gender Identity Center of Colorado( http://www.priory.com/psych/disparat.htm).

Wilson's article says, "Author Phyllis Burke [Gender Shock, Anchor Books,1996] describes cases of children as young as age three institutionalized or treated with a diagnosis of GID for widely varying gender nonconformity. She presents evidence of increasing use of GID for children suspected of being 'prehomosexual,' and not necessarily transsexual. Diagnosis and treatment is often at the insistence of non-accepting parents with the intent of changing a perceived homosexual orientation. Burke quotes Kenneth Zucker, of the GID subcommittee, that parents bring children to gender clinics for the most part 'because they don't want their kid to be gay' (p. 100)."

Wilson continues, "Zucker and Bradley (1995, p. 53) noted that 'homosexuality is the most common postpubertal psychosexual outcome for children [with GID].' They defended the treatment of gender nonconforming children on three points: reduction of social ostracism, treatment of underlying psychopathology, and prevention of GID in adulthood (pp. 266-7). . . Zucker and Bradley conceded that there are simply no formal empirical studies demonstrating that therapeutic intervention in childhood alters the developmental path toward either transsexualism or homosexuality (p. 270)."

The NARTH review takes issue with both Zucker and Bradley's position that "an ethical therapist must not discuss-- actually, must not even hold--any strong personal convictions about what constitutes a healthy family or sexual life" and their scepticism about "supporting the parent who seeks to prevent homosexuality in his child because of the family's religious values."

NARTH's fear that gays recruit is apparent in the statement, "Zucker and Bradley recognize a very important point missed by most gay activists--that homosexual attractions in adolescence may represent nothing more than transitory idealization of same-sex individuals, rather than a deep-seated sexual orientation." (Hello Nicolosi, please read PFLAG's Be Yourself - http://www.outproud.org/html/brochures/brochure_be_yourself.html, and The Campaign to End Homophobia's I think I might be Gay... Now What do I Do?- http://www.outproud.org/html/brochures/brochure_be_yourself.html).

Phyllis Burke says, "The diagnosis of GID in children, as supported by Zucker and Bradley, is simply child abuse."

How did I start out with a melancholy Catholic daughter and end up with a contented Jewish son? (The tale of Philadelphia T*FAM)

• by Pat Milligan <pmil@prodigy.com>

  • That question in the title was stolen from my wife, Linda. Actually, many of my best ideas are stolen from Linda. It's OK with her.

    I steal the line because it works for me too. I wasn't always so sanguine. There was a time when I thought that my evil son was killing my beloved daughter. That was also about the time that our "new" son reacted with rage when we told him we needed time to absorb the change. Our kid changed his gender appearance, his name, his sexual preference and his religion all at once. We didn't tell our child that s(he) was a bad person, or immoral, or sick. We told our child that we needed time to accept the change. And there was rage. On both sides.

    So what does all that have to do with the Philadelphia T*FAM group? What's a T*FAM group anyway? Bear with me. We'll answer those questions and more.

    Linda and I started looking desperately for a support group for the parents of trangendered children. In our case the child was 20 years old. Our younger child had already introduced us to support groups for her, for me, and for Linda and me. Our then current support groups were supportive but, while they offered unconditional love and support, they couldn't begin to relate to dealing with a transgendered child. Then our transgendered child, either in rage, or as a loving gesture, or in plain old self-interest, sent us some PFLAG literature. For the uninitiated, PFLAG is a support organization for Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. I think I've got that right. I know I'm close. I suppose they could call it PFFLAG, but it loses something that way. Anyway, although the PFLAG literature at that time didn't really address transgender issues, it was clearly supportive of those who suffer at the hands of homophobic, just as T*s suffer at the hands of transphobic. It was supportive of the families of society's lesbian and gay outcasts and second-class citizens. That was real close to what Linda and I needed. We never did find a North Jersey PFLAG meeting, but with the help of PFLAG and our other support groups and some hard work by all of us, we survived nicely and I came to love the son I never knew I had. So did Linda. It took a little longer to realize that my daughter hadn't gone away, was still there in my son.

    To steal yet another idea, one of the T*s that attends our Philadelphia Area T*FAM Group put it this way: "I look at my previous life as a reversible vest that I wore with only one side out, or showing, for many years. The other side was always there, but it was hidden from view. Then there came a time when I occasionally wore the "reverse" side out. Sometimes the original side was out. Eventually the vest was "reversed" all of the time. The original side hadn't gone away. It was still there, on the inside." Just as before, one side of my reversible vest showed, and the other side was on the inside." Nice.

    To be honest, the original version is presented better by its owner, but hopefully you'll understand the feelings.

    OK, I leaped (leapt?) right into the Philadelphia Area T*FAM Group without defining its roots, so I'll step back and do that.

    When Linda and I moved from North Jersey to South Jersey, we were about 8 years past our son's transition, and were not feeling a need for support in that area of our lives. We had a good relationship with our son and his life partner, another wonderful guy who used to be someone else's daughter. That's another whole story.

    Somehow, and I don't remember how, I stumbled onto the internet e-mail list "tgs-plag". It's an e-mail support list for families and friends of transpeople, T*s. As is usual for me, I lurked for a while (lurking - reading an e-mail list without contributing to the list, therefore remaining anonymous, in effect hidden). Then I responded to some messages that struck a chord, telling some piece of my story as it applied to the message. I received a message from one of the regular members of the list commanding me to get more involved on the list, since I was a rare father on the list. Most of the parents on the list were the mothers of T*s. By and by, I saw some messages about a T* family support group being formed in the Philadelphia area. That was back in September, our group is now ten months old.

    ---

Life is more fun married to a transsexual

• bt Janet Elizabeth Flecher <janet@ccia.com>

  • My story is really our story. Me? I'm Janet Flecher. The other half of the "our"? Well that's my wife Mary Lou. Mary Lou and I are a very unusual and rare couple. We truly are a legally married same sex couple. We, like perhaps 150-250 other couples in America today, did this the really hard way. I am a transsexual, and really, when you get down to it, I've been a Transsexual all my life. But I denied ever being one until about three years ago, when I finally had no choice but to admit being so. Twenty-one years ago, while in the midst of the deepest denial, I met and married my soul mate, Mary Lou. Then in a two year long process beginning three years ago, I changed my sex to match hers, to being female.

    I wish that I could say that this was a easy transition. But it was not. Very few, perhaps less than 3%, of the marriages involving people like myself survive. Many because the spouse simply does not want to be sexual with a lesbian or gay man. Many because of the tremendous stress involved. Many because of the tremendous pressure both from society and traditionally from the medical community, that couples like us must divorce.

    We choose not to. And in the process of finding the support we needed to keep our relationship alive, we first found PFLAG. I wish that I could say that on the first contact we immediately became hard core PFLAGers. But it did not happen that way.

    I have always been active in the Cyber world, and it was almost inevitable that I would come across the tgs-PFLAG mail list (where I am currently assistant list-owner). I basically subscribed to this list to find help in dealing with my parents, who do not accept me. But what I found was a warm and wonderful place where both Mary Lou and I felt comfortable. From here, we began attending the local chapter of PFLAG in New Castle, PA within the last year.

    Mary Lou, myself, and Deni Scott (who is also a transsexual) felt that there was a need for a support group designed to focus on these issues in the Pittsburgh area. Together we founded TransFamily. TransFamily is exactly what the named implies, a family oriented support group for the entire transgendered community. We use the broadest definitions of both family and transgendered that we can. Our intent is to provide peer support and peer counseling to any individual undergoing any stress because of Gender Dysphoria. Either in themselves, or in a friend or family member.

    Since its start, TransFamily has grown to become one of the region's primary sources of answers to family issues involving transgenderism. We are now attracting individuals from as far away from Pittsburgh as Erie and Cleveland. TransFamily currently has a loose association with PFLAG. With a growing commitment from PFLAG to the gender community, we hope this will change with time.

Your webmaster encourages you to support Youth Guardian Services and Critical Path AIDS Project.
Visit their websites at www.Youth-Guard.org and www.CritPath.org.
YGS hosts the PFLAG-Discuss, TGS-PFLAG, Youth and Schools e-mail lists, and the PFLAG T-SON.
The Critical Path hosts the PFLAG-Talk/TGS-PFLAG website.