Open Questioning

• Use questions that encourage expression, such as
  who, what, when where, how (NOT "why" or "why not.")



• Use polite imperatives
  "would you mind telling me a little about that?"



• Prompt with a question or trail off - "and then you . . ."

• One word or short answers, i.e."yes' or "no."
  
  
• Using leading questions, i.e. "Don't you think that . . .



• Asking negative "whys," i.e. "Why don't you want to . . ."

• Use eye contact, facial expressions, lean forward



• Focus on client, let them know you're with them - "um-hum" and "yes."



• Be as natural and relaxed as possible.

• little eye contact, stiff or slouched posture
  
  
• robot-like verbal/non-verbal gestures



• cutting off client, topic jumping

• Get the basic message the client expressed



• Rephrase but in fewer words and check that this is accurate

• parroting exactly what the client says
  
  
• using bigger or more words than the client used



• adding judgement



• power struggle / debating with the client



• disagreement from the client about the paraphrase

• What are the feelings and the intensity the client is expressing?



• How do the feelings relate to what the person has said/done?



• Respond in a way that captures feelings, intensity, and relationship
    "You seem to be (angry/happy/sad/afraid) because of . . ."

• paraphrasing content only and not the feeling
  
  
• saying "I understand."



• using feeling words of different intensity than client's



• psychobabble



• adding judgmental interpretations or content

• Notice a down-played positive



• Frame a response that uses a more positive view
    "you seem to be glad to be out of that bad situation."



• check the client's response to the reframe

• using the word "but"
  
  
• offering the reframe as the only or "best" view

• Identify a strong contradiction in client's behavior between two or more behaviors, feeling and behavior, the client's self reported feelings and how others would typically feel.



• Use a non-confrontational response that reflects the contradiction
    "Although your drinking scares you, you keep doing it."



• Await the client's response and use that to problem solve.



• Let it go.

• adding judgement
  
  
• client shuts down

• Has this person received enough support to make his/her own decision?



• Is it appropriate to shift the focus away from the client?



• Do I self-disclose this with many clients?



• Is this for me or the client?

• Identify major points - behaviors, thoughts, and feelings - that have been discussed



• Pull it all together - you're weaving a tapestry



• Check that the client agrees with the summary

• client balks, saying that you've missed the point
  
  
• client leaves without acknowledging an understanding

• Use the same language the client uses



• Don't be too technical, we're real people

• Feelings first
  • You can't take away or fix feelings
  • articulate the non-verbal
• Third-Personing
• "this is hard for people"
• To the Nth Degree
• "what is the worst thing that could happen?"
• Offer Options, Not Directives
• "some people do . . ."
• "If . . .then statements" - "What will be the consequences if you..."
• You are not the Target
• People need to vent
• Who's In Charge
• Detachment
• Be Tentative
• Rapport Building